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Silence in Court
Lawyers
should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren’t prepared
for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney
called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”
She
responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve
known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate
people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big
shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to
anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?” She again replied, “Why, yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy and bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state… Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.” The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, “If either of you asks her if she knows me, I’ll throw you both in jail for contempt.”
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