The Three Year Itch: 

WHEN CAMBODIA GOES WRONG AND HOW TO FIX IT

by Peter Hogan (Courtesy of www.khmer440.com)

Editor's Note. No matter where we are in the world, we can sometimes get jaded, bored and into a mood of wondering exactly what we are doing there and why. That is so even of exotic Cambodia, a truly fun place to be, but one which is also so very different from our own native countries that we occasionally have to renew ourselves and redefine our own sense of purpose, as well. This is what Peter discusses so eloquently in the following article....

Three years into your Cambodian expatriate experience, the shine can come off the ball and your love affair with all things Khmer can become tarnished, leaving a tart and unpleasant aftertaste. Cambodia has long ceased to be a sumptuous novelty and the feeling of being in a magic castle has gradually evaporated. The heat, once such refreshing respite from the doom and gloom of Europe, can suddenly seem oppressive. Bars once much appreciated can become as boring and stale as the bargirls’ ‘How are you yesterday?’ flaccid one liners that you’ve heard a million times too many.

Maybe you’ve gained a little extra poundage. The fun gained from recreational drug use(?) has disappeared as surely as your sun-drenched weekend party, pilling experiences evaporated on a gloomy Sunday afternoon – perhaps to be replaced by a nagging dependency on more damaging pharmaceuticals, be they the zombified, dull-eyed pleasures bestowed by the tranquilizers so easily available in Phnom Penh or the endless mechanical chugging down of beer flagons late into the night. And then there are the ragged, twisted pleasures of yamma which, once crystallized into a smoking habit, have seen the rapid decline and fall of many an expatriate. That young woman you met in a bar and so hastily moved in to your apartment has stopped being fun and frisky and has instead become a weighty millstone around your neck or a cunning little slyboots, siphoning off your cash at every opportunity. The initially comical and corrupt machinations of those at the top of Khmer society no longer seem amusing but loom large as evil and oppressive; they nag away at your conscience. The massive and growing gap between rich and poor and the sheer contempt the Khmer robber barons have for those at the bottom of the barrel has stopped being a cultural novelty and has become an eyesore and an affront to any sense of social justice you may still have. Even that moneyed local who blatantly pushed in front of you at the line in the supermarket is no longer someone you can turn a blind eye to and instead you’ve been left quietly seething at the arrogance displayed by the total twat.

As an experienced healthcare professional, I would diagnose a case of ‘delayed culture shock’, or, using the latest terminology, ‘Expatriate Burn-Out Syndrome’, signs and symptoms of which may well include all of the above, plus peevish and occasionally petulant behaviour veering between morbid silences and caustic outbursts. Nevertheless, there is no need for a gloomy postscript, and full remission from this perilous state is possible without having to take the drastic action of booking a one-way flight home.

Firstly, recognise that your maudlin condition is not the fault of the average Khmer, who is simply getting on with his or her life. You are an uninvited guest in the Khmers' country. Sometimes you amuse them and sometimes you can be a bit of a nuisance. Stop feeling so important. 'Java' regulars, muesli weavers, denizens of 'Rubies,' Bible wielders, those on Western salary hardship postings and those foreigners that come here to provide ‘aid and assistance’ but end up acting as obscenely paid performing dogs to the ruling cliques may wish to bear this in mind as they lead their pampered existence in Cambodia. But you’re in chaos and the pressure is on, so let's discuss the treatment which fortunately is free and in the main consists of developing DIY coping strategies for when the inevitable rupture occurs.

Firstly, if you are teaching EFL/ESL, then stop thinking of it as an unfortunate obligation to be endured, or hack work of the dullest kind that has to be got through in order to get spazzed out of your baps as quickly as possible afterwards. Immerse yourself in your teaching and gain self-esteem. Remember that despite your modest salary you are giving insight and providing mentoring to young Khmers emerging from a hugely damaged and fractured society. The work you do is immeasurably more important than that of the cynical old twat who gets $100,000 a year shuffling papers for the World Bank as a ‘renewable energy consultant’ or whatever. In 25 years time, those Khmer kids will remember you and that whore-mongering old shit of a consultant will be dead and forgotten, his only legacy being that of bleeding vast amounts of money from one of the world’s poorest countries. You, on the other hand, will have put something into the pot. The karma will be yours.

So you’re still feeling depressed? Do you still feel that Cambodia, which was once such an exciting funhouse has become a less than ornate and stressful sweat chamber? The next step is to immerse yourself. Start learning Khmer and not from a foul-mouthed bar girl but from an educated young Khmer. There are lots of them about and it’s not difficult to find them. Try not going to bars every night of the week. Cook your favourite food at home, take a few early nights and all of a sudden you’ll be waking up early and full of energy.

Set yourself daily achievable tasks, complete them and watch your esteem rise. Perhaps sign up at a health club. Believe it or not there are places where you can take a swim, work out in a clean and safe environment and spend less for a month’s access than you would on getting wasted for a couple of midweek nights' hedonism in a shithole like Howie’s. Get out of Phnom Penh; Cambodia is a beautiful country and provincial Cambodia is a feast to be enjoyed. Have a couple of nights in the provinces; the sea breeze and fresh seafood found in Kep can have a hugely therapeutic effect. Even taking a flight to Bangkok for a wander around the icy shopping malls – stocking up on a few Western treats can work wonders.

Above all, put things in perspective and remember that the torments of the jaded expatriate are not quite the same as those of destitute Khmers or provincial Khmers living on less than a dollar a day.

So, following a few easy and achievable steps, the horrors can be banished. Yes, Cambodia is changing. Can you control that change? No. Can you control your attitude to the changes? Yes.

The dark clouds can be banished to be replaced once more by psychological sunshine interrupted only by the occasional healthy scattered shower.

Comments, feedback, etc to
peter@khmer440.com

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